20 weeks pregnant and a big ultrasound

Today marks the halfway point of my pregnancy, 20 weeks. I have mixed feelings about this, disbelief that its already half over, and impatience to have this squishy baby outside.

I know I’ve said it nearly every time, but this pregnancy has been so different. I feel so run down, devoid of stamina, energy and full of mood swings. I could easily sleep all day, or lounge at home in leggings and one of Jason’s tshirts, every day. No problem. I feel the tug of depression and anxiety creep in all the time, but I do my best to push through it and now allow it to swallow me whole. I’ve been taking care of myself, eating really well, giving myself time to process and feel everything that comes to mind. Better than fighting it constantly, right? I’ve been taking Rescue Remedy, and I can honestly say that it’s made a difference in my ‘blue’ moods and anxiety.

Lets talk about emotions for a minute: I am so so so so SO excited and happy about this baby. I’ve laughed about it, and I have plain say down and bawled my eyes out from happiness. In fact, these days it takes almost nothing to make me cry, something that is new.

Jason and I watching The Walking Dead? I have to pause it because I’m literally sobbing. (Poor Lori, giving birth like that. I was beside myself.)
Watching a Christmas movie and there is a really cheerful, happy part? I am crying.
Sappy Christmas commercial comes on? Tears.
Marley getting all exited to help make banana muffins with me? Blubbering beside her in the kitchen.

You see where I am going here? I can mostly keep it in check, but SERIOUSLY, it’s out of control. Cest la vie!

Another fun part about this special time in the pregnancy, today I have my BIG ultrasound. ‘Big’ meaning this is where people are typically able to find out the sex of the baby. We were told at the 13 week ultrasound that she was confident it was a boy, but that is super early so I have tried not to put too much behind that. We haven’t purchased anything (ok, maybe a few pieces of clothing on Black Friday, but I kept the receipts.), and nothing has been done to the nursery. I am DYING to find out for sure and start some real planning and decorating. I have really fun ideas for the nursery, for both sexes. If you have been around long enough, you know how much I put into Marley’s nursery, and I can’t wait to do that again.

So, what do I think? There is so much of me that thinks its a boy. Mostly because of how different I have felt and look, which is weird because I have never believed in those old wives tales. I also feel much smaller now, than I was with Marley. My belly is higher and rounder, and I just feel small now. Awfully funny considering I was showing so early. Maybe this baby won’t be such a monster (8lbs 12oz), maybe I’m just plateauing for a bit. I’m just along for the ride, enjoying this little miracle.

How far along? 20 weeks. Half way!
Baby is the size of a: mango or large banana.
Total weight gain: 6.5 lbs so far.
Maternity clothes? Oh yes. So comfy.
Stretch marks? Some little white ones around my belly button. *shakes fist at the Gods*
Sleep: Insomnia has kicked in. Either that, or The Walking Dead is haunting me.
Best moment this week: ultrasound today!
Miss Anything? Sleeping properly. My old jeans.
Movement: Feeling some real movement, felt a few tiny outside kicks this week
Food cravings: apples and cupcakes. Haha
Food aversions: I’m so over hamburgers and French fries. Gross.
Gender: boy, but more confirmation today.
Labor Signs: NO
Symptoms: Morning sickness is gone, I was able to stop taking the dicletin!
Belly Button in or out? as far out as it can get.
Wedding rings on or off? On.
Looking forward to: Finding out gender for sure and planning the nursery.

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