Woah. 35 weeks! I can’t decide if this has snuck up on me, or if I want to fist pump like a Jersey Shore champ. This is the home stretch, and a bit of a milestone for the little dude. At this point, if I go into labour, the Dr’s will not try to stop it, and I would likely be pushed in for my c-section right away. At my doctors appointment last week, I was 34 weeks, measuring at 38.5, so there’s that. Big boy on the way!
That is, if I wanted to opt for the c-section and not try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). This is something I have been thinking more and more about, trying to figure out how I feel about that possibility. With Marley, I was 2 weeks overdue and had a very long 26 hour labour which included being 10cm dilated for 4ish hours. She was a big girl (8lbs 12oz), and was never able to descend, getting quite stuck. I absolutely adore my OB, because she literally let me go as long as possible with my water broken (24 hours), before discussing a c-section with me. I was not forced into one early on in my labour, as long as Marley and I were doing well, we were ok with letting things go. Yes, it was long and painful and hard, but I was thankful for the chance to try.
My recovery from the c-section was absolutely incredible, I really could not have asked for a better experience that way. I was up and walking that afternoon, able to tend to Marley completely, and never required more than regular Tylenol and Advil for pain. I was feeling so good, that I requested to go home the net day, rather than stay in the hospital for the full 3 days they usually require. Obviously I listened to my body, and knew better than to push it, but I was by no means bed-ridden or in pain. My incision healed beautifully and I had no complications with that.
My one and only issue with having another c-section? I was not able to hold Marley right away, and have skin-to-skin with her. Jason got to have those first snuggles while I was stitched up and put back together. That part, I do understand, as I am technically in the middle of a operation, but it still sucks. The absolute worse part was coming down from the anesthesia, and time in the recovery room. I had violent shaking and vomiting on the operating table, shortly after she was out and safe, and it was very scary. The anesthesiologist was reassuring that it was partially everything in my system, and part adrenaline after such a long labour. The vomiting was attributed to my sensitivity to codeine and most general pain killers. Once in the recovery room, I was completely out of it, still shaking and throwing up, slurring my words and coming in and out of consciousness. I felt very very very drunk, and I did not like it. Anxiety was also kicking in, because I was not expecting that feeling. I was too scared to really hold Marley, because I was so unsteady and out of it. I was laid up in the bed, with a nurse poking and prodding me, and staring at Marley in Jason’s arms, completely out of it. I did not get to really hold her and be aware and ‘present’ for it, for quite a few hours and I have struggled with guilt and resentment because of that. I felt a little robbed of that afterglow everyone talks about and the first bonding moments with my daughter.
I have brought up all these concerns with my OB and will do so with the surgeon doing the procedure as well. I’ve been assured that this time will probably be quite different, both by my Dr’s and friends who have had repeat c-sections. It’s a much more relaxed experience when it is scheduled, and you are more prepared emotionally the second time around. You know exactly what to expect, and haven’t been in active labour for 26 hours and pumped full of other fluids/medicines. So in this sense, I am feeling better and better about having a second c-section. I know it will not be prefect, and my recovery not quite as easy since I am also juggling a toddler, but I feel pretty good about it. We are planning things out pretty well, my in-laws, my mum and my sister are all on board to help out with Marley for the first bit, and Jason will have a few days off of work to be home with us.
The thing that does worry me? Going into labour before my scheduled date, and having a quick delivery, naturally. Yes, it is more ideal on the body, but this is something I am in no way, shape or form mentally prepared for. I will embrace wholeheartedly it if it does happen, but it is a little daunting. My Mum had insanely fast deliveries with all 4 of us, with 3 being under an hour (TOTAL), and the last one being 4 hours. Quick quick quick.
I have my consultation with the surgeon who will be performing my c-secion booked for next Wednesday, and will have my actual c-section date at the end of that appointment. Then? It’s serious count down time and reality will really set in. I am so excited, nervous, anxious and happy, it’s really quite the roller coaster. My ‘To-do” list is getting quite small, the weather here is warming up, my body is settling into the final stages of pregnancy and this baby is running out of room to squirm too much.
All things considered: I am feeling ready. Mr Man can stay in there for a few more weeks, because that is ultimately best for him, no matter how big he already is. We want his lungs and everything else developed and in prime working condition.
Plus, we don’t have a name picked out yet, it’s down to a final 3 and we just can’t decide. SUPER.
How far along? 35 weeks
Baby is the size of a: large cantaloupe (I laugh at this, because mine is clearly a watermelon by now)
Total weight gain: 24lbs as of last week
Maternity clothes? oh yes. Living in yoga pants and stretchy tank tops right now. Most shirts are showing a peek of the bottom of my belly.
Stretch marks? A couple little white ones.
Sleep: I feel exhausted most of the time, but I am not sleeping much. Pregnancy insomnia is real, yo.
Best moment this week: The nursery is 98% done!
Miss Anything? Driving comfortably, I can not move my seat back anymore and still touch my foot pedals.
Movement: Lots of limbs rolling across my belly, very weird.
Food cravings: I almost never feel hungry anymore, running out of room. Still crazy thirsty all the time though.
Food aversions: nothing yet.
Gender: Little dude
Labor Signs: tons and tons of strong braxton hicks and cramping.
Symptoms: uh everything? I look like I swallowed a basketball.
Belly Button in or out? completely out and flat, it hurts.
Wedding rings on or off? Still on, and a little loose actually.
Looking forward to: Meeting with the surgeon and setting a date for the c-section.