It’s been 3 weeks since Corbin came into our lives, and I have a hard time putting into words the love I have inside me right now. I mean, I feel like I could just combust with happiness, and I am not just saying that. Yes, there have been some hard moments for sure, recovering from a c-section with a 3.5 year old and a newborn is not exactly easy, but I have bounced back pretty quickly and I feel like we are settling into a semi-normal routine.
So far Marley has been beyond amazing with her little brother. She is absolutely in love and adores being a big helper to us, fetching diapers/receiving blankets/wipes/soothers etc. She will lay down beside him on the play-mat and read him books or try and show him her toys. She will sit on the couch with him in her lap, and happily hang out like that for 20 minutes at a time. I practically have to bribe her to let me take him back. These three weeks have not been perfect though; she is learning to be aware of him around her and learning to be very gentle with him. Excited and clumsy toddlers are not always a good thing to have around a fragile newborn, and I have had my share of anxiety attacks as she comes running through the room, missing trampling on his hand by a few inches, or something along those lines. Trying to figure out a way to make her aware of her surroundings a little more has been a project, but she is getting better at knowing where he is and being careful around him. Thank all the things, because my heart/patience/blood pressure could hardly stand another close call.
But all in all, she loves him so completely and wholly, that it just makes my heart explode when I see them bonding.
And then there’s this:
I could really, honestly, just implode. Are your ovaries twitching yet? There really is nothing quite like seeing your husband with a itty bitty squishy newborn in his arms. And I mean nothing. It’s like you are falling in love all over again, seeing this other side, watching this great bond formed right in front of your eyes. It’s hard to put into words, but if you have been fortunate enough to experience it, you know exactly what I mean.
As I said, we have been settling in fairly well, the weather has finally decided to cooperate and we have had the most gorgeous 2 weeks. Our days have been full of playing in the backyard, gardening, going for walks, playing at the park and soaking up this incredible sunshine. The difference between having a fall baby (Marley was born in September), and a spring baby are incredible. I am totally loving the ability to get out of our house and getting some vitamin D, exercise and fresh air, has made all the difference in my mood and general disposition so far. I always have this fear that Postpartum Depression will come back this time, and hit me harder than last time, and it terrifies me. Some days are better than others, but I am incredibly lucky to have access to some fantastic resources, and I have a lot of support from my friends and family. If I feel that dark cloud descending once again, I know I won’t hesitate to ask for help and seek that out. I’m taking it day by day, moment by moment.
One major thing I have been reminding myself, is that I can not compare Marley as a baby to Corbin as a baby. They are different people, different personalities, and to put them against each other is not fair or right. I admit that I did struggle with this at first and who wouldn’t? When you only have one experience/baby to measure up against, you tend to automatically compare. We were incredibly spoiled with Marley as a baby, and so anything other than how she was seems super fussy to me, when in fact, it’s probably quite normal. While Corbin is also a relatively easy and laid back baby, he has been having gas issues, which is obviously not comfortable for him and has made for some not-so-fun moments. Hopefully this is something that sorts iself out, or we figure out a way to help the poor little guy out.
Solo outings with the two kids have been relatively pain free as well. About a week after Corbin was born, I was going a little stir crazy and loaded us all up into the car for a trip to Target. Where else? One thing I have quickly remembered is how freaking hard it is to get out of the house with a newborn and all the things that are required for them. I am now trying to make sure my diaper bag is always packed with essentials, to make our lives easier. I have fallen in love with our Bugaboo Cameleon C3 all over again, as we have added the wheeled board for Marley, and Corbin can ride in super comfort in the bassinet. My hardcore love affair with Bugaboo is complete and real, I can’t say enough good things about the stroller itself and the company that makes it. When the stroller doesn’t feel necessary, I have been using baby carriers quite a bit. So far my favorite option for this tiny stage is a linen ring sling, my must-have-favorite has been the Sakura Bloom ‘Pure’ it’s beautifully made, soft, breathable and comfortable for both of us. Newborn squishy all snuggled up in a ring sling? YES PLEASE. I’m also currently looking into a few different structured carriers, but am having a hard time because most are not built for a smaller and shorter frame, but I am doing a lot of research and getting feedback from my babywearing friends, so hopefully I can find something that works for us. Also? Marley is even more enamored with her Beco Mini carrier because now she can wear her baby just like I wear her baby brother. The adorable factor is off the charts.
This new chapter has been both better and worse than I thought it would be. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows, but I wouldn’t trade this for the world.